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The Ron Paul Deception

March 28, 2013

A Message from the Editor:

Here at For the Sake of Argument, we like to encourage all forms of constructive discourse. And because, you know, conspiracy theorists are really the ones we all need to listen to, those voices should be the ones amplified the most. So remember kids, don’t become an activist, don’t protest, don’t use the power of ideas to actually change anything, because the fix is in and there’s nothing we can do but sit on our predestined asses and sell books! Hopefully that will land us a spot on the History Channel!!! So with that, we give you this essential piece of reporting from one of our top guest writers.


Ron-Paul

by Penny Tresjon

Right now, in the dark bowels of the White House, Barack Hussein Obama is hard at work building a demonic and monstrous machine to turn dead babies into gold – and then back into dead babies. While this is of course, already common knowledge, this scene, dear readers, perfectly sets the stage for the shocking truth that I am about to unveil:

The third member of the Trilateral Commission is none other than Ron Paul himself.

trilateral

It seems … almost impossible to believe at first, but as you consider the facts you will come to know and understand how Dr. Paul is, in fact, incontrovertibly, a member of the Anunnaki bloodline of Reptilian astronaut creatures that control every aspect of global politics and also live in the tunnels in the Earth’s core, which is actually hollow.

On the following page or two I will source, document, and explain thoroughly and comprehensively, a compendium of the undeniable facts that underpin this assertion.

  • Dr. Ron Paul’s age is entirely unknown. He has never revealed a birth date, nor voluntarily submitted blood or colonoscopy findings to the greater public to prove he is not a regular vampire, a a sparkly vampire, or a butt vampire.
  • Every computer has the capability to display the numbers 666, and you’re kidding yourself if you think that’s some sort of accident.
  • The empirical evidence between the Ron Paul-666 connection is overwhelming: Google tracks over 1.35 million sites that mention the words Ron and Paul and 666.
  • Ron Paul worked for the United States Government- the ultimate Reptilian Occupied Government on Earth. He has encouraged his son, Rand, who was named after a writer whose cult following represents the deep end of the autism spectrum, to follow his example in life, and leech off the sweet, succulent teat of government.
  • Ron Paul looks really fucking weird. Especially his hands-agh! Have you ever looked at his hands!?
  • If we assume the Reptilians have an incredibly advanced form of technology which we can barely comprehend, we can safely assume they would be able to either create an artificial human body suit, cloaking device, or have spliced transformation genetics into their race- and therefore, Ron Paul could easily possess the ability to mutate into a terrifying 7’4’’ lizard creature.
  • In his shapeshifted form, Ron Paul is well known to appear as that guy who you think you kind of know from somewhere, but you’re not really sure, and he kind of leaves before you decide if you want to make eye contact or whatever.
  • The Reptilians are known to eat nothing but hazelnuts, babies’ blood, and marijuana. Ron Paul – a Doctor of all people – supports marijuana legalization.
  • Ron Paul owns extremely vast reserves of gold bullion inside a ghost ship anchored off the coast of Galveston. If the US were to shift its currency back on to the gold standard, a policy which Dr. Paul never shuts the fuck up about, he would gain an incomprehensible amount of wealth.
  • As one of the preeminent experts in appearing on the first page of Ask.com search results for “Ron Paul Antichrist” has written:

Described as the great Libertarian, Ron Paul´s primary message in his presidential election campaign is: Restore America Now. Given the Obama administration continued what the Bush family started and stripped US citizens of their most essential civil rights, freedom of speech and, well, erm freedom, US citizens with two brains cells to rub together and who are awake to the ludicrous corruption consistently planted in the White House should be echoing his sentiments. But is Ron Paul the false prophet and antichrist predicted by Nostradamus?[1]

  • Nostradamus. Did you hear that? Real shit right there.[2]

The facts are before you. The stakes have never been higher. I invite you to draw your own conclusions.

Ron-Paul-on-a-Raptor

(Image Source)


[1] Oldale, Richard. “Antichrist Suspect: Ron Paul?” Nostradaumus Predictions. http://www.nostradamuspredictions.org/nostradamus-antichrist-suspect-ron-paul#ixzz2OgicuhRk
[2] Wow, that guy actually made sense for like half a second there and then switched to full on gonzo mode.
4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 28, 2013 9:55 am

    idiotic and transparent a complete waste of my time and your breath

    • March 28, 2013 10:09 am

      It’s Satire…I figured that was kind of obvious, no?

    • March 28, 2013 3:43 pm

      I can see only two possibilities here:

      1. You have been conned my the Main Stream Media into believing everything their sheep herding, mind control, misidrection boxes have been telling you.

      2. You yourself are a reptilian using inverted reverse psychology and/or osmosis to stop our readers from hearing from the truth. WELL I SAY ENOUGH. No longer will we free humans tolerate your scaly invasion, nor will we lie back idly by and think of England while you invoke the right of Prima Nocte, nor will we all ow you to sap and destroy our precious bodily fluids.

      YOUR TIME HAS COME SPACE BEAST

  2. March 28, 2013 1:55 pm

    Amusingly satirical it is… Mmmmm.

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